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How We Will Carry Out the Master Plan

Page history last edited by Amy 14 years, 1 month ago

I am sure we are all familiar with our list of items for carrying out the Master Plan:


1. Cheese whiz

2. Peanut Butter

3. Big words

4. Sumbliminal messages in music

5. Shakesperian plays


7. Mutant slime

8. Made up langauges

9. The Randomness Dictionary

10. Tonight, by FM Static

11. Arkwork by M.C. Escher

12. Free Burritos

13. Applesauce (computer program)

14. Wood-chucking monkeys

15. E-mail spam *cough* advertising

16. Confusing instant messages

17. Amy's "!" emoticon on MSN IM

18. Theoretical Physics (Randomology)

19. Titanium

 20. Rubber Bands


But now, I will reveal our execution of the plan!!! Here is how we will rule the world:


Phase 1: Confusion

 We will confuse the population using items 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 15, 16, 17, and 18. we will distribute them throughout the internet using item 13 to hack into popular websites around the world until the entire world is inable to focus clearly, leaving them vulnerable to mind control!


Phase 2: Mind Control

We will now use items 4, 5, 10, 13, and 15 to send messages to people. We will add high-frequency audio recordings of us saying "EVERYBODY MUST OBEY THE PEANUT BUTTER RANDOMS!" to items 4, 5, 13, and 15. The message will get louder and clearer until the instruction is stuck in their confused little heads. We will use item 10 to spread these messages everywhere possible to maximize the effect!


Phase 3: Orders

We will then use item 10 to hack into video and sound systems around the world, and say "We are the Peanut Butter Randoms, you must to what we say!" They will all mumble and nod in agreement. Then we will instruct them to build huge boatsout of item 19, fill them up with animals and belongings, then get on them and sail them into the middle of the ocean. We supply them with item 12 for their journey, then we send them off!


Phase 4: Reconstruction

We subject item 14 to mind control, then order 14 to cover the world over in items 1, 2, and 6. We first have them clean out the sewer systems and then pump items 1,2, and 6 through the sewers until it oozes out to the surface, then we zap item 14 with a growth ray and order them to start flinging items 1,2 and 6 onto the face of the earth until it is covered over in them. After the surface is all dried up, we have 14 cover it over in streets and and buildings made of items 19 and 20. Then, we will have them build a huge palace for us!


Phase 5: Repopulation

We send messages to all of the ships to come back to land and for people to start moving into their new houses. We will minimze the mind control so that people can re-gain clarity of mind, but not we will not totally eliminate it. We will use it to maintain peace and loyalty in our empire, so that we can enjoy a happy reign over the earth. And if anyone leads a revolution against us, we shall use item 20 to subdue them!


This plan is property of the Peanut Butter Randoms Supporting Purplicious World Domination and Fighting Meatless Chicken Burgers with Copyrights. If anyone tries to execute this plan without our consent or assistance they will most likely be seriously injured, arrested, or attacked by an angry mob. If nothing bad happens to them and the plan is running smoothy under their command, we will unite our forces with those from the underground city of Acadia and storm the surface with ray guns that turn people into mutant turkey men. Then we will hunt the plan-stealers down and let our waffle assassins escort them to the Oracle of the Order of the Meatless Meat, where they will either be sacrificed to the meatless gods or turned into a giant mutant hamster. You know we're not kidding.


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