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Theoretical Physics (Randomology) for Non-Dummy Smart Peoples

Page history last edited by Travis 15 years, 8 months ago

The first thing you must understand about theoretical physics is that it is a very useful tool for confusing people. Don't you think that strings stretching across the entire universe is confusing? I mean, what would we do with them? Hang our laundry off of them? How confusing it is. So, essentially, theoretical physics is a scientific medium for randomness and confusion. Here is how theoretical physics could be added to the Master Plan:

1. We confuse people with our crazy theories.

2. We write books and articles about them.

3. When they still don't understand, we call them hopeless dolts.

4. We control their minds.

This should be doable, since it's what theoretical physics already does. It's certainly a viable option for the Randoms. Here are some crazy theories we could use:

1. The universe is made of extremely tiny AAA batteries. When they run out of juice, they implode. Once all of them have imploded, we'll be dead by then, so we won't care.

2. Time is like a pencil covered in tooth marks (don't worry, it doesn't have to make sense to be an acceptable theory).

3. Gravity is an illusion. We're really under Glavity, which is totally different, because one of the letters is different.

4. One can only travel to a different point on the space-time continuum if they hum the 4th movement of the New World Symphony on the 11th of August.


See? The harder it is to make any sense out of a theory, the easier it will be to control minds with it! And it doesn't even have to make sense!


So, please share your thoughts.

Comments (1)

Amy said

at 11:03 am on Jul 31, 2008

First list: Good
Second list: Bad
Isn't August 11 your birthday?
If so what is going to happen on mine?! O.o

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